Year 31 - Reclaiming Myself

Nothing will knock you off your ass and out of your routine quite like a headcold from hell. We all got it - I had to take 3 days off work and a weekend and I still am only about 80%. So hopefully by wednesday i'll be back to normal and can do stuff.

I feel like I've taken a month off from a normal schedule. Really looking back its been close. Between travelling, holiday and family in town, being sick and then PMS... workouts have pretty much not happened. I have stuck to my yoga though, that is easy to do in the morning and Im a little addicted to my morning routine. And thankfully I have kept eating correctly so I am still on track for the most part. Its almost Christmas time... I think I've been too tired and sick to really get excited. Im excited about some gifts Im giving this year, but at this point Im just plain tired. My kids are sick too. So at this point I am going to just try to make it through the holidays with as good of attitude as I can muster. Maybe after AF leaves my disposition will improve.

When everyone gets sick.  Including yours truly. We did what was necessary to do on Saturday, like getting out Christmas tree and decorating and medicating all the while, but taking Sunday off from Church and all responsibilities to just sleep, eat and watch movies was the best decision we could have made. We all just slumped around the house, nothing got done except a few dishes... and it was GREAT. I need a few more of those days. I havent weighed myself in 2 weeks, but my clothes still fit so I think Im ok. Ive been pretty lax about working out, mainly due to being sick and on my period, but I've been trying to fit it in as I feel good.  I have been doing my yoga and scriptures and bible study every morning though, that seems to have stuck as a habit. I've decided to start setting week long goals - this week, I am going to eat vegetables for breakfast and lunch all week. So I had to take stock last night and remember this journey is not soley based on weight loss. I kee...

No rant today lol... excpet for the fact that i for some reason was moving really slow this morning. I think my family are all trying to get colds... and DD hit my nose hard enough a couple days ago that its swollen and slightly bruised so my face pain is i think more due to that.. .blowing your nose suuuuucks when you feel like you have a  broken nose. So its Dec 1 - 24 days until go time. I still have shopping to do, but thankfully not much. I just found the deal I've been looking for for a new comforter for DD, I bought her a duvet cover and now need to get the duvet part of it.  1) Comforter for DD 2) Dishes for mom 3) Towels for dad 4) Beer for KJ 5) Something for Sis 6) Shoes for HH? Not too shabby. And thankfully I saved up some gift cards to be able to get the kids duvet covers so it saved a bit of money :) Monday started back into good habits again.... only did a mile on the elliptical last night htough... energy levels were down due to AF and...

WTH people?? It KILLS me to see how many people double book themselves and dont know it. It is so aggravating. If you say you are going to do something, EFFING DO IT. Get a calendar, set a reminder on your phone for petes sake - USE YOUR DAMN PHONE for petes sake... you have a mini computer attached to your hip AT ALL TIMES...there is zero excuse to not use it. You really learn a lot about people by noticing their habits and I really try not to judge people right off the bat, but now being shown just how flaky people are, and honestly I am surprised about one of these people, my trust in them is waning. Dont waste my effing time and then come whining about how much help you need when you had access to the tools and the help you need but flaked out on it. One thing I have learned about myself over the years is that I just dont trust people in general, and I am starting to understand why. Rant EFFING over. I was awake at 3:45am. Why?? No idea. So I took an hour in bed and mentally rear...

Part of me is irritated already. At people. Particularly a certain person, who shall remain nameless. But my suspiscions have been confirmed and now my opinion of them has now changed to "flaky". Yes I understand that thier life is busy - so is mine. Mine HAS to be scheduled or else nothing gets done because I work full time, am a mom, a wife, Im going to school, doing books on the side, exercising, fulfill a Sunday calling and now teach and prepare a class on a monthly basis - among other things. But it works! BECAUSE I KEEP A CALENDAR. Im my brain there is just no excuse to not know what is happening when or double booking something because you automatically say yes to things. And I know that I cant expect everyone to be me, and I cant expect my habits to be everyone elses habits. But out of respect for other people AND their time, I make sure that what gets planned happens, I do what I say I'm going to do, and I make sure I'm not wasting anyones time. Right now, si...

I was off for the whole week for Thanksgiving so sorry for the MIA... Man I forgot how much I love stuffing. And no, I certainly didnt deprive myself of all the wonderful food. I just ate less of it and found that hey! portion sizes are satisfying! Although I didnt watch portion sized on the crab legs, bu they're protien so it doesnt count :) I only got in like 2 workouts, we had family in town and zero time to do anything normal, so as of this morning I am back on routine. I am not going to weigh myself either until after AF, I can feel myself retaining water which means that it will happen soon enough. Some days I wonder what it would be like if I was the stay at home mom I was going to be originally. I think I'd probably still get up early, but I'll have time to snuggle with my babies and nap... I think that is the hardest part about going to work every day is not getting enough time to snuggle when I want to, and of course DD gets up right as I am getting off the co...

I think I just went a little crazy. I may or may not have agreed to start running at 5:15am. It would be an attempt to help a friend get back into gear.. and I usually am awake at 5am, and end up going back to sleep until after my alarm goes off. SO I figured I would capitalize on the fact that I am already up and it would be good to add some cardio... honestly I'm a little scared of not getting enough sleep. But this may help me get to sleep earlier as it is. (Since its working soooo well right now... har har har) I LOVE conditioning and exercising, and I love helping others do it too. It was so much fun abotu 3 years ago I ran a stretch and conditioning class and it was great watching the improvement of my students. But I can do it. I hate running. But I need to challenge myself to do new things. And it will be fun having someone to do it with.

Nothing like getting mind effed from a dream right before you wake up. It was so disturbing that it really has thrown me for a loop today. I had to pray extra hard for focus power today. I got up and just dove into the couch with tea, blanket & cat and just started in on scriptures. No yoga... my brain was too fried to do anything.. and also I was knocking things over right and left so no yoga this morning. And I jsut seemed to be moving so dang slowly today that I ran out of the house late, but for the grace of good traffic, I made it to work on time. I am reading  a book called Its No Secret...someting about divine truths that every woman must hear. Its good so far and has some good thinking points. I am on the chapter about female competition and how detrimental it is to both parties when you want to emulate another person, but then when you feel that you have gotten to her level we tend to try to exceed her and be better and make her know that she is inferior. Pack mental...

I am so blessed. Yesterday I got to pay off a bill that has been nagging me for 10 years early!! (VICTORY!) And this morning I woke up to the sweetest love note from hubs. AND I got huge hugs and "tisses" from my DD before work. God has blessed our little family beyond measure and personally I feel like He has taken the time out to personally show me how much I am loved. I woke up at 6:50am today... oops. (YAY for dry shampoo.) But nevertheless I was in good spirits and took my tea with me and sang at the top of my lungs all the way to work. I also snuck in some Chuck Mangione so that was good too. Got to deal with ridiculous traffic... which never happens. So my plan to get breakfast on the way to work didnt happen and now Im stuck between eating nothing, eating carrots or going out. I am officially 136.... id been back and forth between 136 and 137 the past couple days and finally leveled out at 136. Which is crazy to think I've lost 10 pounds... and really only h...

Well whoever said that anything you do is 50% mental is right. I had a mom-fail night last night which left me emotional... and while I agreed to do a 18 min stretch video with hubs, my mental state was not letting my physical shape even think about working out. Thankfully there was a new video posted on a youtube channel I watch, so I slogged my emotional self over to the elliptical and was able to slog through 2 miles at a decent resistance. So I did it. So there. Oh and a slight victory, I found half of the Raquel video online on a different site, so I will at least have that until I get teh DVD copy from my mom. I went to bed way too late last night, and Pete couldnt make up his damn mind whether he wanted to play or sleep so he kept walking all over my face and purring as loud as he could, so that kept me up later. So this morning, I did get up at 6, but forgot I found the Raquel video.. so I just made tea and took 10 min to stretch on my own. It took a lot to get the sleep out ...

I have recently discovered the difference in taking time for myself in the morning and doing yoga... you already knew that. But now I have developed a NEED for the 20 minutes after yoga to sit on the couch with my tea and my Petey-poo and read scriptures and pray. I got a good taste of how your day changes when you do that yesterday. I had one helluva schedule yesterday that included not being able to sit down until 11:30pm. But I started my day with yoga and with scriptures and prayer and EVERY SINGLE THING GOT DONE and NONE OF IT was stressful or frantic. Keep in mind I've had plenty of these days in the past and I am always wiped out and irritable and stressed. And so this moring I woke up at 6:15 and missed "formal" yoga, but was really happy I still had time to sit by myself until 6:40 (yes I squeaked in an extra 5 min) and it was just so nice. (I did stretch a little while I waited for the kettle to boil) I love my life and my family but I never have had "me ...

After a no sleep zombie trip and the week after being so dang discombobulated, I took Saturday and did NOTHING. I didnt even put on pants until 2pm. And it was FANTASTIC. I slept until 10, played some games with my kids, read my book, drank a lot of tea (probably too much), and then went out to lunch with the family. I think I have recovered. I feel back to normal and not exhausted anymore. I wonder if half my exhaustion was from being mentally exhausted.  So back on track this morning! They took Raquel off the internet (Boo.) but my mother is making me a dvd of her old recording. So until then, I put on some relaxing music and did her "monday" routine, which I have memorized. Then I actually was able to get my tea and my kitten and relax into the couch with my scriptures for 20 min. I must say that they are right, the people who wrote the podcast about taking time for yourself in the quiet before everyone else is awake really makes a difference in how my day runs. I know ...

I woke up gumpy. Mainly because  I have been so tired and ended up having to go to the a prayer breakfast for the county at 6:30am...which means I had to leave my house at the same time I normally would be starting yoga. But as it were, I woke up and actually really enjoyed myself. And there was tea and food, so I was happy. For lunch my tribe suprised me and took me out to lunch and I havent gotten a darn thing done today. Well, I got my kindle fire yesterday and ended up getting my brain into electronic calendar format which is my main reason behind a Kindle fire. I am not thoroughly impressed with it, I would rather just have a straight android tablet, however for the 7" ones that actually fit in my purse, my choices were either Kindle or Digiland... or I sign up for a data plan which i dont want. SO I settled with at least a name brand. And it does mostly what i want it to do... i dont like that even though it uses android, it does not take a lot of the apps that regular and...

I think Im recovering. I finally did Pilates again last night... although I think it was out of adrenaline from not sitting down all day rather than having the energy to do it. I've had to be careful this week... I've been so worn down and tired that if I am not careful I know I'll throw myself into a cold or sinus infection. So this weeks goal is to sleep as much as I can while working out, but making sure not to burn myself out. Yesterday was such a go-go-go day that I woke up late today. I need a day to just do nothing at all. Just sleep. I feel like I have a newborn again but I'm not getting woken up all night. And I might be OK if I was getting adequate sleep to wake up at 5am..which is when Petey decides morning happens. But this week is a resounding "hells no". Plus, my brain is fried. I DO NOT want to adult. I dont want responsibilities, I dont want to think period. There is so much going on in our lives right now that today I am investing in a table...

Trump won, I'm still tired, my quads hurt from doing a new stretching video, I'm 136 now which means I didnt gain any weight on my trip... and my brain huuuurrrrtttsss. I am having the HARDEST time recovering from 5 days of no sleep on the road. Doesnt help I didnt get a downtime day before I had to get back to work. I am boycotting Facebook for a week or so... people are so petty. And I thought to boycott my work..but the conversation isnt too bad. I want to do nothing tonight but I have to do either homeschool tonight or FHE... not sure which. We didnt get to do it on Monday because family was in, and last night I had to go teach a class. Yaaaayyy redbull.

Its election day and I want to boycott my office until its over. I am already boycotting my Facebook feed for a few days. I tried to get on this morning and it is ALLLLLL political posts. Im over it. Im pretty sure that God will not be surprised in the least. I got a good night sleep last night and ended up skipping pilates last night still recovering from exhaustion... I am feeling back to normal today so i'll be picking back up. I have done yoga in the morning though. Right now I am still a little tired and I dont get to sit down until tomorrow evening. But that is ok. Im also not weighing myself until next week... Im too tired to want another thing to worry about.

Some days it feels like Im never going to get there. I measured my waist today and it is 32 inches. I am used to 28 or smaller. That was disheartening. I think i am finding that i feel this way when i am super tired. Since I am coming off a 5 day no-sleep road trip... and got a little bit out of routine, I think this is the case. It was nice to look at a bunch of the before and after pictures on Pinterest and remind myself that they didnt start seeing results until 4 months in and didnt reach thier goals until 10-12 months... I am taking this slow... I am feeling better and better (minus being sleepy) and I have to just keep reminding myself that slow and steady wins the race. I have gas today and just got a call to go out to dinner with hubs... I have to be good. And I will. And I am going to sleep like a rock tonight.

Sorry for the hiatus... had to go to a memorial service in California and so my mom and sister and I decided to turn it into a road trip. Todays post will be brief... I have a lot of catching up to do for school and work (sighhhh). It was a great time, the memorial was beautiful, I ate pretty well... missed all but one nightly workout, did yoga every morning and was basically just exhausted the entire time. But its good to be back. Tomorrow when Im not under the gun to things accomplished I'll expound more.

Organic blue corn chips and guacamole are a good breakfast, right?? I didnt have time to grab anything at home and since I fly out tomorrow it wouldnt do me any good to grab my Atkins shakes since they come in packages of 4...I'll just get some when I arrive.  I yoga'd this morning, although not very relaxingly...my daughter woke up at 5am and was a whiny little crab cake the entire time telling that she "doesnt yike yoda mama".... But I did it and since I'm pretty good at ignoring whining when I want to, it wasnt so bad. And the benfit of her waking me up early, is that I had time to do yoga and then go have some tea and read scriptures (like I've been trying to do anyways...) I have nothing more to say here today, my brain is trying to distinguish what needs to be done for work vs getting ready for my trip...

I am noticing a pattern around that hormonal time of the month. My energy levels drop significantly and I just cant get enough sleep. So yoga didnt happen in favor of sleeping in an hour, although I did do an unnofficial stretching session when I got to work. I did lay in bed for awhile trying to convince myself how lovely it is to have me time in the mornings...but then apparently I fell back asleep and woke up at 7. Oh well. I think one of the biggest changes I've had over the past two months has been that I am being diligent and when I miss a day I dont get bent out of shape and call the whole thing off because the plan got ruined. I have just picked up on the next workout like nothing happened and you know what? Its nice not calling things off and saying oh, well I'll start again on Monday. NO. NOW.  How on Earth am I going to get results by waiting a week to start over? Plus, ANYTHING helps so even if I get a pilates session or 3 miles on teh elliptical at night with out y...

Im so happy it is Friday. And that tomorrow is Saturday. Its hormone time and I'm tired. I got through 10 min of pilates last night and pretty much fell asleep on the floor when I turned over for swan pose. My body just said "NOPE." So I went to bed. I woke up on time this morning but fell back asleep until 630 because my daughter crawled in with me and she is still tiny enough to be sooooooooo snuggly. But I got up at 630 and did yoga and traffic was amazing so I was able to leave later than normal and still pick up an egg and some veggies for breakfast. Now Im contemplating a Red Bull... It is going to be a quiet day today - my boss is out today so that means that no one but me and the other two staff ladies are here :D We have fun :D Tomorrow is also the trunk or treat at the church - the kids will be excited. I have to start packing for my trip... only a couple days away! Oh and morning weigh in was the same as yesterday: 136.5

136.5 baby! Now I know I said that I am not focusing on my weight as the priority for the next year, but when you start exercising and eating correctly it is so amazing how your body starts fixing itself and getting back to a normal weight. I have always "normalized" at 125 and 130. It is exciting to not only get rid of my muffin top and to be able to stop using the pregnancy rubber band trick on my jeans, but also to be able to bend over without hurting or a spare tire getting in the way (not that it was that big, but I sure did notice the difference and couldnt imagine how hard life in general would be if it was any bigger!) So whatever weight I end up with, as long as I have muscle tone, endurance and feel healthy then I'm happy - but it is nice to celebrate a weight loss too. Speaking of endurance, I can feel myself getting stronger. I did the elliptical last night and was able to get through 2 miles on a difficulty level of 9 out of 15 at 10mph, and then one mile c...

Today I woke up (or rather my kitten Petey woke up) at 6am... I have a choice to make in the mornigns... I can get up at 6, have a 30 min workout/yoga session, wake up at 6 and have 15 min to dink around before my yoga, or wake up at 6:15 and do 15 min of yoga. Today, it was raining HARD. I could hear it outside the window and on the skylight in the bathroom. And I was so cozy. Hubs had curled up next to me, Petey was balled up in my neck, and I just layed there for 15 minutes just listening to the rain thinking how lucky I am to have been blessed with so much. That I CAN lay in a warm bed with a husband who loves me while listening to the rain before I have to get up to a job that pays me to be there. So blessed. So I did get up at 6:15 and yoga'd and did my normal routine. It is so nice having that time in the morning. I was thinking this morning that this time before work is really the only "me time" I get. I am with people all day at work and am at the bidding of ot...

And I'm back. Happy to report that Yoga happened Monday morning, pilates Monday night and Yoga this morning... and Im also back to my midnight sleep schedule. THAT has to change. Technically we did get home late last night so some of the circumstances were out of my control...however I did stay up and facebook for a bit after my workout. It feels like I took 6 month off... but oh well. I want a nap now. And something other than a protein shake. I was onto bigger breakfasts but since I took my week off I feel like I need to detox a little... I didnt eat badly, just feel like I need to do a litttle kickstart. I really dont have much to say today... I'll come back if I think of anything.

So I'm on my last day of antibiotics and because its Monday, I started back up on my schedule. I only took a week off for UTI recovery, but man it feel like 6 months. So of course I woke up at 6 with intentions of doing a half hour of pilates, and ended up getting up at 6:20 and doing a 15 min Raquel Welch... what would I do without her?? Its so relaxing and really it felt good to just streeeettttccchhhh. Apparantly I slept in the tightest ball possible on my neck and clenched my jaw all night...which became very apparent when I started the initial yoga pose. I had a huge headache but after 15 min of Raquel it subsided completely. SO tonight! Pilates is starting back up :) I have done pretty well this week maintaining 138 (even with some chocolate chip cookie dough involved..oh and some swedish fish.) I can say that I love not having love handles in my clothes anymore. Ive decided I like getting my nails done too. I got the usual french gel manicure because the french nails loo...

Feeling better today... i think im over the hump when it comes to kicking this. That being said i'm gone all weekend camping because I am a good wife and so I'll have to pick my workout stuff up on Monday. Which is fine, I'll be done with my prescription by then. Until then, I am just going to keep eating right and sleeping. There is not much going on today other than picking up the pieces of work that I didnt get to all week and I have a nail appt at 12. I normally dont get my nails done, but they are growing out so nicely and i do have a memorial to go to in a week or two so why not. Sorry this is a boring post... I really have nothing to say today.

So turns out that bladder infections suck to the high heavens. Here I was thinking ok well i'll just take my pain pills and be fine and keep going on my workouts... but then I got a nice slap in the face when I remembered that a bladder infection is an INFECTION which means my body is working over time to heal up even with antibiotics and I have been deathly tired and in pain because of it. Not to mention just the abdominal pain that goes with it makes even sitting uncomfortable. So I am forgoing all workouts and stretching until my round of antibiotics are over. (Thankfully its only 7 days) And also thankfully I havent quit eating well - I have been able to maintain 139 and making healthy choices. I have been trying to go to bed before 11 and I've been letting myself sleep in an extra hour in the morning until 7am since I am not working out. I figure my body needs all the help it can get. This illness aside, I can definitely feel that I am out of routine. I can wait to get...

So I have a good reason why I missed yesterdays and today's workouts... TMI maybe but UTI's and moving just don't work. So I ended up at the doctors this morning first thing thankfully and got a prescription for it so I should be back in action tonight since there are pain pills involved. Still. How dumb.

I am not looking forward to this week. There is so much going on at work and at home that I will be relying heavily on God to get me through. I had thought to start a goal of going to bed every night this week at 10:30 so I can catch up on sleep (im exhausted)... but it looks like that just got chucked out the window in favor of copious amounts of caffeine. :( On a good note, I was able to run my grocery store errands on my way into work, which freed up my lunch break to get my paper written. I had been feeling a little run down and lazy last week, so I kind of procrastinated on my school so today I am reaping the rewards... But I am being productive today and I think I wrote out a schedule that will work. One thing that helped is that when I wrote it down I realized that not all of it has to be done today. I think I get overwhelmed by everything and feeling like it all has to be done RIGHT NOW... but in reality if I assign it a day and a time slot, then it has a place and I dont ha...

Just had a thought... I think one of the hardest things I've done since starting this is admitting that I am a beginner again. I used to be very much in shape, I was a dancer for years. And then realizing that I had to start over again was almost shameful...but admitting is the first step to progressing, right? And it turned out to be the best thing for me because it forced me to start slow and work up. And due to my past fitness I've discovered I still have muscle memory and its coming back quickly, but I dont think it would have if I had started out at the level I used to be at. It's ok to admit you're starting over and its ok to start out by getting winded easily. In 30 days the changes that have happened in my strength, my core and my stamina are surprising to me. I wish I could help my mom with this...It would be fun to go on this journey with her.

I made it to 138!!! I love that slow and steady is winning the race! I also had a small revelation last night in bed... I went to curl up on my side and my hand was down by my knee... my knee is smaller than I remember. AND AND AND!!! I was able to pull on my size 4 jeans!!! They are still a little more snug than I'd like and when I button them it gives me a tiny muffin top... but still! I am able to button them AND fit my thighs in at the same time - that hasnt happened in awhile. I love non scale victories. I think that I am going to treat myself to a mani-pedi when I reach 135 or my size 4 jeans just slide on like my size 6's do, whichever comes first. I of course went to bed too late last night, and ended up with only a 5 minute stretch session this morning, but last night I upped my workout a couple notches with Ab Ripper X and upper body weights - it was more intense than I'd been doing but I felt it was time to up it just a bit. It was challenging but I did it an...

One thing that is new for me with this whole lifestyle change is really listening to my body and then actually giving it what it needs. For the past week I have been going to bed way later than I should and then 6am comes REALLY early. I still am doign my normal schedule and two workouts a day. But this mornig I started feleing my body saying you need to not go gung ho this morning. So I did a Raquel Welch stretch video and am I glad I did. I dont think I would have had teh energy this mornig to actually do a workout or any intensity, not to mention I really powered throuh my glutes last night. I just felt my body needed a rest and a stretch and I am familiar with this feeeling. The only difference is that in the past I would jsut power thorugh as hard as I could because I felt that if I didnt do my workout and get really sore then I would just ruin the whole plan. But I think now because I have the mindset of health as a priority, I feel that it is really important to take that rest. ...

I think one of the best things, especially when your scale weight stays put for a bit... is to put on your clothes and feel what has gotten smaller. I pulled a pair of my skinny jeans on this morning that were pretty fitted, not painted on, but this morning i can pull an inch of fabric off my body on the legs and the calves are baggier too. Also putting on shirts and feel them looser around the upper arms which is AMAZING for me... I never realized that I gain weight in my arms until i hit 145 and all the sudden my lovely work tops were really difficult to move my upper body in. SO that is a great feeling. As of last night I am still at 140, but I am feeling and seeing changes so I dont really care.. again, its not about the weight first, and I know as I continue the weight will change... but seeing the non-scale changes is awesome :)

So I had all intention of posting yesterday but holy moly if ever there were a day that was completely discombobulated and needed to start over, yesterday would have taken the cake. I did get both my morning and evening workout in yesterday though. Today, I apparently turned off my alarm in my sleep and slept until 6:30 which meant that there was zero time for any kind of workout or yoga..in my defense I did sleep like crap and kept waking up. Plus I had a stressful day at work, and school turned out to be a cluster and I was just so jittery and stressed out that Im guessing thats why. I also have to remember that even though i am loving the dropped weight and the more muscle tone that is starting to show, this year is focused on HEALTH... not weightloss. That is just a perk. And I need to keep reminding myself that on days like this when I do sleep in unintentionally, my body is probably telling me that it needed that extra 30 min of sleep. Usually I can get right up at 6 and be fin...

So I realized last night that I've been at it for a month already. Here is what has changed in a month: I've lost 6 pounds I am sleeping better Nothing pops or creaks when I get out of bed I can GET out of bed instead of rolling I have not had any packaged food or wheat I have a lot more energy during the day (minus period week, but even that was better than normal) My yoga routine and my pilates routines are now too easy I broke 140 this morning at 139! I am thrilled. I also had to change up my workouts... now Ive upped my program to a new one called belly, butt and thighs which uses hand weights and they are only 15 min long for 3 weeks. I chose to only do the 15 min routines for 3 weeks because I know myself and usually I just dive in gung-ho and then kill myself after a week and then get too sore and sick. So I am taking it slow, especially since it is involving weights. Then every night I will replace my pilates with at least 1 mile on the elliptical. I know I...

Yesterday was CRAZY at work. Thankfully today I feel a little more organized and energized and I am going to say it again, it really does make a difference starting my day with "me-time" doing yoga. I missed it yesterday and just felt really frazzled all day (no thanks to the circumstances of the day either). But I have been doing it for long enough now that when I miss a day I do notice a difference. It was so dang hard to get up today - especially since I had my tiny furball snuggled up under my chin all night but I did it, albeit 15 min later than I wanted but just having that quiet time in the morning to just breathe, wake up, not think about anything and get my blood moving (minus having a tiny furball climbing your leg while doing hero pose and another furball underneath you wanting a tummy rub). Its nice to end with deadmans pose to just silently pray and be greatful that I even can do the yoga in the morning in a warm house and have a hot shower at tea ready to go aft...

Ok so I made it through my first weekend after a solid week of being good. I always take Sundays off from working out, but I guess I needed Saturday too. I had been super tired last week due to hormones and so I just decided to take Sat and Sun as recoup days. Apparently I needed it. I slept until 10 on Saturday and just slugged around the house on Sun and it felt GOOD. Much needed. But then of course what happens Sunday night? Hubs and I get to talking, and talking, and talking until midnight....(it was so fun) but guess who didnt make it out of bed on time for yoga? Oh well... I did shower yoga which I suppose is better than nothing.

Well I made it for one week solid doing what I said I was going to do... and I am pretty sure PMS hormones were trying to thwart my attempts the entire time. And I do beleive that it is also the reason that I went from 140 to 141 overnight and feel like a blimp. YAY for water weight. I woke up too late to do my 15 min, but I had enough time to do an improvised 10 min and while it took hell and high water to get me OUT of bed... I am glad I did even if it was late. It is also cold, foggy and I want hash browns and eggs instead of a protein shake... but I am sufficing myself with my protein shake and Im caving and having a cup of orange spice black tea. Its making me happy right now and hopefully getting my eyelids to lift a few more millimeters. I am looking forward to this weekend. It is general conference weekend in our church which means that the church leaders hold a global television broadcast - which means i dont have to wear pants. (well, I have to at least wear jammy pants...

Got back on track last night... but do you know what the dumbest thing in the world is?? Having BOTH feet cramp so hard that it cramps your calves WHILE you're having to point your toes for pilates. Im not sure how effective last nights session was considering the pain of the cramps was really distracting. But whatever. Yoga was good this morning... I love Raquel Welch. But I think I am finally getting limber enough and strong enough to move up to something a little more challenging. Maybe... I really do love those 15 min videos. I have also discovered a new way to help wake up and get my blood moving. Apparently its something like a swedish spa treatment - so in the hot shower, you alternate temperatures between hot and cold water and let me tell you what.... THAT wakes you the heck up.  Im not sure I'll be hitting my goal of 138 by Sunday.. I do have a chance for 139 though... am at 140.5 this morning so I will be celebrating getting under 140...its like my body just g...

Skipped pilates last night... why? I unintentionally passed out cold at 9:30. I was so dang tired. And I still am tired. My guess is PMS. But I will power through. And really last nights pilates sesssion was only a 12 minute stretch program so I didnt miss much and I'll pick it up tonight. I yawned throughout my yoga this morning... but it still felt really good. But I did cave and have a cup of plain black tea - functioning this morning was a little more difficult. I've made it to 140 without starving!! I love the perks of eating right and exercising. You not only get to feel good, but you get to start looking good. And just in time too! We have family photos this afternoon and the only clothes my entire family has that goes together is red, white and navy. Up until today my navy skirt has been too small around the hips/butt area and hikes up the lining which had looked really funny. BUT when I crossed my fingers and slipped it on today it went on with no problems! YAY! I ...

So I've been at this for about a week or so now... (oh I decided to take Sundays off from exercising as my rest day - I still stretch though) and even this early in the game I am noticing changes - yes, dropping weight is noticable, but more in how I am feeling and my relationship with my body. I remember hating it so much that I didnt eat for years and was completely underweight while still thinking I was a whale. When I finally got over that, a few years later I had my son and realized just what my body could do. I remember for the first time really truly appreciating my body. But it was still a battle to be as thin as I thought I should be. I didnt do so bad on that though, I was teaching dance and conditiong and while still eating better, it still probably wasnt enough. But I was healthy, but still body concience. Then I had my daughter, had to take a desk job and went back to school. My weight went back up to 145 - that is the heaviest I had ever been. Now dont judge me here, ...

So Monday started off with me waking up at 6:30 instead of 6:15... so needless to say yoga didnt happen this morning. But I did stretch a bit in the shower so I'm not totally thrown off and I did making it out of the house on time. I was a little bummed, but it is dark in the mornings now so I wonder if my body is adjusting to it. My goal for this week is to go from 141.5 to 138 by Sunday, do pilates every night and elliptical at least 1 mile a night.  Hubbys birthday was Sunday and I made a ton of good food but ate portion sizes and even had some cookie dough... but I was good. Plus I had fasted all day anyways. Still feeling ok... Im still a little off since my day  didint start as planned. Im one of those people where if I get thrown off my track or routine it takes me a bit to get back on a track. Plus it didnt help that I forgot to file our B/O tax report on Friday, so I had to do that first thing this morning which again, threw off my schedule of events for work. S...

So I signed up for www.dailyburn.com and I am LOVING IT. I hate going to the gym because I dont know what to do.. I usually just stay on the elliptical and watch house hunters. And I really dont like lifting weights there unless there is NO ONE there which only happens at 5am. So one thing I discovered I love last night is that there are programs that you can go along with that is like having a personal trainer - no one day is the same thing and it gives you a goal of finishing the program in like 14 days. I decided to start with Pilates. I've never done pilates, But after day one I am totally hooked. And sore. I think it will be a good fit considering I need to really build back my core  - I tried the CORE program, but the guy that did the first workout was just too annoying for me to get into it. I like pilates I think because its like yoga... its like ballet stretches and workouts, and since the only time I have to work out is between 9:30 and 10:30pm... its low impact. Who ...

It was a hard morning to get out of bed. But I did it... and I got through my yoga... but I dont feel like it was effective as the other days. But I did it. I have gone from 145 to 141.5 since Sunday. :D That makes me happy. Here are some of the changes I've made: 1) 20 min light exercise at night (will get harder, but starting slow and building up to it) 2) 15 min yoga in the morning 3) 5 cups green tea daily 4) More water than usual (easier than I thought) 5) Daily multivitamin 6) I cut out ALL refined flour and since I have a wheat allergy anyways it was fairly simple, but I've started substituting my wheat flours with quinoa and spelt. (I dont know how I lived without quinoa.. soooo good!) 7) I cut out most sugar - this one is important - I dont believe in completely depriving yourself, so if I feel like a couple tootsie rolls or a cookie then fine. But I've noticed I dont crave it and half the time I just really dont feel like it anymore and I crave flavor an...

Its Wednesday and I am pretty sure sometimes Wednesdays can feel worse than Mondays. I think maybe because it is in the middle... not the beginning when there is potential to have renewed vigour for the week and goals ahead and not the end where you can just relax... Today was one of those Wednesdays. Yes, I did get up and do my yoga, take my vitamin and have my protein shake for breakfast. But I did yawn more than usual and I wished dead-mans pose would have lasted about an hour longer. But I think the important part is that I did it and didn't do my usual "dont feel like it... not gonna." and go back to bed. I was super tired by 9pm last night however and so staying up until 11 probably didnt do me very well. It is now dark in the mornings again and COLD. I love it :D Since Monday I am down 3 pounds... from 145 to 142...yay for eating clean! (and atkins protein shakes!) I really havent cut anything out, just either eat less of it or a healthier version. And its nice...

So I did really well the first week, the second week everyone got the flu... so nothing happened. But now that all has calmed down, I started again yesterday and even two days worth now I feel a difference. I love that doing even the 15 minutes of yoga and stretching and breathing wakes me up and I notice that when I roll out of bed Im not so creaky and sore. I also noticed that my energy levels are maintained all day long - I am not having slumps at 2pm anymore where I just want to curl up under my desk. I also notice that my breathing is easier - not that it was awful, but now its just easier. I have decided that I have spend so many damn years focusing on looking good.... this year I am focusing on FEELING good. There is some truth to look-good-feel-good... but if inside you feel drained or sluggish... even if you look good you wont look the best you can be. And really, what are looks? I am 31 now, and thrilled about it. It is time I started feeling good and just enjoying me for...

I have successfully completed two consecutive days of yoga in the morning. The first day I got up at 6:45 which was  a bit late, I completed a ten minute yoga session and then got to work RIGHT on time. So today, I decided to ease myself into getting up early and got up at 6:30 and did the entire 15 min routine and had plenty of time to shower and even stop by the store for breakfast before work. I like the 15 min yogas because its only 15 min (lol) but really, that is what i am looking for right now. Easy stretches that promote flexibility, but also wake me up. Maybe as i gain flexibility and strength I will move on to harder things, but the realization that I havent moved in 2 years is pretty apparent. I also have resolved to eating better... Two days in a row I have made clean and healthy choices and this morning I got back on a multi-vitamin. If I am to work all day and then from 6-9 teach and stuff, I need to be at peak performance. I heard a quote the other day that is go...

So I have decided to be intentional about my health this year. I sluffed off pretty well the past two years and am ten pounds heavier than I'd like to be and probably not as healthy as I could be... and I have noticed that every year I get more aches and more creakiness and its a "roll" off the bed instead of jumping out... I probably should get myself moving. I remember in massage school they said the number one cause of old age as we know it is lack of flexibility and they gave examples that showed the working western worlds elderly and compared them to the japanese elderly. You rarely have Japanse elderly with humps on thier backs or not being able to walk by themselves because they constantly keep moving through tai chi, yoga, etc... it was a really interesting study. I knwo I am far from being elderly, but I better start now before it gets too late. So... Starting tomorrow morning I am going to start these goals at 6am every morning: (and I say GOING to because I...