Tuesday!!

So I've been at this for about a week or so now... (oh I decided to take Sundays off from exercising as my rest day - I still stretch though) and even this early in the game I am noticing changes - yes, dropping weight is noticable, but more in how I am feeling and my relationship with my body. I remember hating it so much that I didnt eat for years and was completely underweight while still thinking I was a whale. When I finally got over that, a few years later I had my son and realized just what my body could do. I remember for the first time really truly appreciating my body. But it was still a battle to be as thin as I thought I should be. I didnt do so bad on that though, I was teaching dance and conditiong and while still eating better, it still probably wasnt enough. But I was healthy, but still body concience. Then I had my daughter, had to take a desk job and went back to school. My weight went back up to 145 - that is the heaviest I had ever been. Now dont judge me here, I am not saying I got fat, even though the BMI calculator says at that weight I am considered "medically overweight". What happened was that I had lost all muscle tone, almost all flexibility, and a lot of my energy. It just kinda crept up on me and now looking back... Im not sure I cared too much. My husband loved me anyways and I was just tired. So I just ate what I wanted, which was actually pretty healthy food - I didnt go out and binge on burgers and crap like that. I ate veggies and grains and things that are considered healthy.
       The problem was (and I got tested this past February to confirm) I have a wheat allergy. I am not Celiac thankfully, but I have a wheat allergy where when I eat wheat products, it inflames just about every part of my insides and my body just doenst know what to do with it so it stores it as fat. It is truly amazing that I can lose 8 pounds in a week just by cutting out wheat products - I am not joking about that number... this was an experiment right after I went to the doctor about it, I decided to not have any wheat products for one week. That was the only change I made and BOOM... one dress size later.... Plus I notice I feel way better. But the point was I just let myself go and even though I wanted to get back to my normal size, I just, well... blah. And I went right back to eating wheat because who doesnt love sandwiches??? Also my portion sizes were off too... no one person needs to eat a footlong subway sandwich in one sitting unless that is ALL they are having for the day. 
        But then I turned 31. I am completely out of my 20's (praise the LORD) and ya know what? Im not getting any younger and over the past 10 years I have learned just how amazing I am. I have grown up a lot and I am very proud of what I have accomplished and I have truly grown to love who I am. And now I just want to feel good! Honestly, I dont want to be that mom who is constantly dieting in front of her kids, or not going swimming because im scared to be in a bathing suit. Who the hell cares? Im not getting any younger and if I dont start enjoying life now and having fun with my family then what is the point? Starting this year on getting strong, healthy and feeling good rather than losing weight and getting skinny has made such a huge difference! For one, Im not starving lol. For two, I am at peace that small changes will yeild large results over time. I have been poring over the before and after weight loss and fitness pictures and thier stories - and even though I am no where near the same boat as most of them in terms of weight loss, they all had the motivation and drive to just KEEP GOING. And set goals. And keep thier end result in mind. I dont want to be skinny anymore. I want to feel good no matter how I look. I want to be strong and give my body the best chance it has to get older. I want to make it to my 90th birthday and still be that lady who takes her mornign walk and yoga every day without a walker or a hump on her back or some disease that could have been prevented by a lifestyle change early on. Radical change requires radical self care.... I love me and I am finally ready to show me that I love me. And I am ready to show God that I love the body I've been given and am grateful for the opportunity to care for something so amazing. Have a great Tuesday!

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