Year 31 - Reclaiming Myself

I am noticing a pattern around that hormonal time of the month. My energy levels drop significantly and I just cant get enough sleep. So yoga didnt happen in favor of sleeping in an hour, although I did do an unnofficial stretching session when I got to work. I did lay in bed for awhile trying to convince myself how lovely it is to have me time in the mornings...but then apparently I fell back asleep and woke up at 7. Oh well. I think one of the biggest changes I've had over the past two months has been that I am being diligent and when I miss a day I dont get bent out of shape and call the whole thing off because the plan got ruined. I have just picked up on the next workout like nothing happened and you know what? Its nice not calling things off and saying oh, well I'll start again on Monday. NO. NOW.  How on Earth am I going to get results by waiting a week to start over? Plus, ANYTHING helps so even if I get a pilates session or 3 miles on teh elliptical at night with out y

Im so happy it is Friday. And that tomorrow is Saturday. Its hormone time and I'm tired. I got through 10 min of pilates last night and pretty much fell asleep on the floor when I turned over for swan pose. My body just said "NOPE." So I went to bed. I woke up on time this morning but fell back asleep until 630 because my daughter crawled in with me and she is still tiny enough to be sooooooooo snuggly. But I got up at 630 and did yoga and traffic was amazing so I was able to leave later than normal and still pick up an egg and some veggies for breakfast. Now Im contemplating a Red Bull... It is going to be a quiet day today - my boss is out today so that means that no one but me and the other two staff ladies are here :D We have fun :D Tomorrow is also the trunk or treat at the church - the kids will be excited. I have to start packing for my trip... only a couple days away! Oh and morning weigh in was the same as yesterday: 136.5

136.5 baby! Now I know I said that I am not focusing on my weight as the priority for the next year, but when you start exercising and eating correctly it is so amazing how your body starts fixing itself and getting back to a normal weight. I have always "normalized" at 125 and 130. It is exciting to not only get rid of my muffin top and to be able to stop using the pregnancy rubber band trick on my jeans, but also to be able to bend over without hurting or a spare tire getting in the way (not that it was that big, but I sure did notice the difference and couldnt imagine how hard life in general would be if it was any bigger!) So whatever weight I end up with, as long as I have muscle tone, endurance and feel healthy then I'm happy - but it is nice to celebrate a weight loss too. Speaking of endurance, I can feel myself getting stronger. I did the elliptical last night and was able to get through 2 miles on a difficulty level of 9 out of 15 at 10mph, and then one mile c

Today I woke up (or rather my kitten Petey woke up) at 6am... I have a choice to make in the mornigns... I can get up at 6, have a 30 min workout/yoga session, wake up at 6 and have 15 min to dink around before my yoga, or wake up at 6:15 and do 15 min of yoga. Today, it was raining HARD. I could hear it outside the window and on the skylight in the bathroom. And I was so cozy. Hubs had curled up next to me, Petey was balled up in my neck, and I just layed there for 15 minutes just listening to the rain thinking how lucky I am to have been blessed with so much. That I CAN lay in a warm bed with a husband who loves me while listening to the rain before I have to get up to a job that pays me to be there. So blessed. So I did get up at 6:15 and yoga'd and did my normal routine. It is so nice having that time in the morning. I was thinking this morning that this time before work is really the only "me time" I get. I am with people all day at work and am at the bidding of ot

And I'm back. Happy to report that Yoga happened Monday morning, pilates Monday night and Yoga this morning... and Im also back to my midnight sleep schedule. THAT has to change. Technically we did get home late last night so some of the circumstances were out of my control...however I did stay up and facebook for a bit after my workout. It feels like I took 6 month off... but oh well. I want a nap now. And something other than a protein shake. I was onto bigger breakfasts but since I took my week off I feel like I need to detox a little... I didnt eat badly, just feel like I need to do a litttle kickstart. I really dont have much to say today... I'll come back if I think of anything.

So I'm on my last day of antibiotics and because its Monday, I started back up on my schedule. I only took a week off for UTI recovery, but man it feel like 6 months. So of course I woke up at 6 with intentions of doing a half hour of pilates, and ended up getting up at 6:20 and doing a 15 min Raquel Welch... what would I do without her?? Its so relaxing and really it felt good to just streeeettttccchhhh. Apparantly I slept in the tightest ball possible on my neck and clenched my jaw all night...which became very apparent when I started the initial yoga pose. I had a huge headache but after 15 min of Raquel it subsided completely. SO tonight! Pilates is starting back up :) I have done pretty well this week maintaining 138 (even with some chocolate chip cookie dough involved..oh and some swedish fish.) I can say that I love not having love handles in my clothes anymore. Ive decided I like getting my nails done too. I got the usual french gel manicure because the french nails loo

Feeling better today... i think im over the hump when it comes to kicking this. That being said i'm gone all weekend camping because I am a good wife and so I'll have to pick my workout stuff up on Monday. Which is fine, I'll be done with my prescription by then. Until then, I am just going to keep eating right and sleeping. There is not much going on today other than picking up the pieces of work that I didnt get to all week and I have a nail appt at 12. I normally dont get my nails done, but they are growing out so nicely and i do have a memorial to go to in a week or two so why not. Sorry this is a boring post... I really have nothing to say today.

So turns out that bladder infections suck to the high heavens. Here I was thinking ok well i'll just take my pain pills and be fine and keep going on my workouts... but then I got a nice slap in the face when I remembered that a bladder infection is an INFECTION which means my body is working over time to heal up even with antibiotics and I have been deathly tired and in pain because of it. Not to mention just the abdominal pain that goes with it makes even sitting uncomfortable. So I am forgoing all workouts and stretching until my round of antibiotics are over. (Thankfully its only 7 days) And also thankfully I havent quit eating well - I have been able to maintain 139 and making healthy choices. I have been trying to go to bed before 11 and I've been letting myself sleep in an extra hour in the morning until 7am since I am not working out. I figure my body needs all the help it can get. This illness aside, I can definitely feel that I am out of routine. I can wait to get

So I have a good reason why I missed yesterdays and today's workouts... TMI maybe but UTI's and moving just don't work. So I ended up at the doctors this morning first thing thankfully and got a prescription for it so I should be back in action tonight since there are pain pills involved. Still. How dumb.

I am not looking forward to this week. There is so much going on at work and at home that I will be relying heavily on God to get me through. I had thought to start a goal of going to bed every night this week at 10:30 so I can catch up on sleep (im exhausted)... but it looks like that just got chucked out the window in favor of copious amounts of caffeine. :( On a good note, I was able to run my grocery store errands on my way into work, which freed up my lunch break to get my paper written. I had been feeling a little run down and lazy last week, so I kind of procrastinated on my school so today I am reaping the rewards... But I am being productive today and I think I wrote out a schedule that will work. One thing that helped is that when I wrote it down I realized that not all of it has to be done today. I think I get overwhelmed by everything and feeling like it all has to be done RIGHT NOW... but in reality if I assign it a day and a time slot, then it has a place and I dont ha

Just had a thought... I think one of the hardest things I've done since starting this is admitting that I am a beginner again. I used to be very much in shape, I was a dancer for years. And then realizing that I had to start over again was almost shameful...but admitting is the first step to progressing, right? And it turned out to be the best thing for me because it forced me to start slow and work up. And due to my past fitness I've discovered I still have muscle memory and its coming back quickly, but I dont think it would have if I had started out at the level I used to be at. It's ok to admit you're starting over and its ok to start out by getting winded easily. In 30 days the changes that have happened in my strength, my core and my stamina are surprising to me. I wish I could help my mom with this...It would be fun to go on this journey with her.

I made it to 138!!! I love that slow and steady is winning the race! I also had a small revelation last night in bed... I went to curl up on my side and my hand was down by my knee... my knee is smaller than I remember. AND AND AND!!! I was able to pull on my size 4 jeans!!! They are still a little more snug than I'd like and when I button them it gives me a tiny muffin top... but still! I am able to button them AND fit my thighs in at the same time - that hasnt happened in awhile. I love non scale victories. I think that I am going to treat myself to a mani-pedi when I reach 135 or my size 4 jeans just slide on like my size 6's do, whichever comes first. I of course went to bed too late last night, and ended up with only a 5 minute stretch session this morning, but last night I upped my workout a couple notches with Ab Ripper X and upper body weights - it was more intense than I'd been doing but I felt it was time to up it just a bit. It was challenging but I did it an

One thing that is new for me with this whole lifestyle change is really listening to my body and then actually giving it what it needs. For the past week I have been going to bed way later than I should and then 6am comes REALLY early. I still am doign my normal schedule and two workouts a day. But this mornig I started feleing my body saying you need to not go gung ho this morning. So I did a Raquel Welch stretch video and am I glad I did. I dont think I would have had teh energy this mornig to actually do a workout or any intensity, not to mention I really powered throuh my glutes last night. I just felt my body needed a rest and a stretch and I am familiar with this feeeling. The only difference is that in the past I would jsut power thorugh as hard as I could because I felt that if I didnt do my workout and get really sore then I would just ruin the whole plan. But I think now because I have the mindset of health as a priority, I feel that it is really important to take that rest.

I think one of the best things, especially when your scale weight stays put for a bit... is to put on your clothes and feel what has gotten smaller. I pulled a pair of my skinny jeans on this morning that were pretty fitted, not painted on, but this morning i can pull an inch of fabric off my body on the legs and the calves are baggier too. Also putting on shirts and feel them looser around the upper arms which is AMAZING for me... I never realized that I gain weight in my arms until i hit 145 and all the sudden my lovely work tops were really difficult to move my upper body in. SO that is a great feeling. As of last night I am still at 140, but I am feeling and seeing changes so I dont really care.. again, its not about the weight first, and I know as I continue the weight will change... but seeing the non-scale changes is awesome :)

So I had all intention of posting yesterday but holy moly if ever there were a day that was completely discombobulated and needed to start over, yesterday would have taken the cake. I did get both my morning and evening workout in yesterday though. Today, I apparently turned off my alarm in my sleep and slept until 6:30 which meant that there was zero time for any kind of workout or yoga..in my defense I did sleep like crap and kept waking up. Plus I had a stressful day at work, and school turned out to be a cluster and I was just so jittery and stressed out that Im guessing thats why. I also have to remember that even though i am loving the dropped weight and the more muscle tone that is starting to show, this year is focused on HEALTH... not weightloss. That is just a perk. And I need to keep reminding myself that on days like this when I do sleep in unintentionally, my body is probably telling me that it needed that extra 30 min of sleep. Usually I can get right up at 6 and be fin

So I realized last night that I've been at it for a month already. Here is what has changed in a month: I've lost 6 pounds I am sleeping better Nothing pops or creaks when I get out of bed I can GET out of bed instead of rolling I have not had any packaged food or wheat I have a lot more energy during the day (minus period week, but even that was better than normal) My yoga routine and my pilates routines are now too easy I broke 140 this morning at 139! I am thrilled. I also had to change up my workouts... now Ive upped my program to a new one called belly, butt and thighs which uses hand weights and they are only 15 min long for 3 weeks. I chose to only do the 15 min routines for 3 weeks because I know myself and usually I just dive in gung-ho and then kill myself after a week and then get too sore and sick. So I am taking it slow, especially since it is involving weights. Then every night I will replace my pilates with at least 1 mile on the elliptical. I know I

Yesterday was CRAZY at work. Thankfully today I feel a little more organized and energized and I am going to say it again, it really does make a difference starting my day with "me-time" doing yoga. I missed it yesterday and just felt really frazzled all day (no thanks to the circumstances of the day either). But I have been doing it for long enough now that when I miss a day I do notice a difference. It was so dang hard to get up today - especially since I had my tiny furball snuggled up under my chin all night but I did it, albeit 15 min later than I wanted but just having that quiet time in the morning to just breathe, wake up, not think about anything and get my blood moving (minus having a tiny furball climbing your leg while doing hero pose and another furball underneath you wanting a tummy rub). Its nice to end with deadmans pose to just silently pray and be greatful that I even can do the yoga in the morning in a warm house and have a hot shower at tea ready to go aft

Ok so I made it through my first weekend after a solid week of being good. I always take Sundays off from working out, but I guess I needed Saturday too. I had been super tired last week due to hormones and so I just decided to take Sat and Sun as recoup days. Apparently I needed it. I slept until 10 on Saturday and just slugged around the house on Sun and it felt GOOD. Much needed. But then of course what happens Sunday night? Hubs and I get to talking, and talking, and talking until midnight....(it was so fun) but guess who didnt make it out of bed on time for yoga? Oh well... I did shower yoga which I suppose is better than nothing.