Year 31 - Reclaiming Myself

WTH people?? It KILLS me to see how many people double book themselves and dont know it. It is so aggravating. If you say you are going to do something, EFFING DO IT. Get a calendar, set a reminder on your phone for petes sake - USE YOUR DAMN PHONE for petes sake... you have a mini computer attached to your hip AT ALL TIMES...there is zero excuse to not use it. You really learn a lot about people by noticing their habits and I really try not to judge people right off the bat, but now being shown just how flaky people are, and honestly I am surprised about one of these people, my trust in them is waning. Dont waste my effing time and then come whining about how much help you need when you had access to the tools and the help you need but flaked out on it. One thing I have learned about myself over the years is that I just dont trust people in general, and I am starting to understand why. Rant EFFING over. I was awake at 3:45am. Why?? No idea. So I took an hour in bed and mentally rear...

Part of me is irritated already. At people. Particularly a certain person, who shall remain nameless. But my suspiscions have been confirmed and now my opinion of them has now changed to "flaky". Yes I understand that thier life is busy - so is mine. Mine HAS to be scheduled or else nothing gets done because I work full time, am a mom, a wife, Im going to school, doing books on the side, exercising, fulfill a Sunday calling and now teach and prepare a class on a monthly basis - among other things. But it works! BECAUSE I KEEP A CALENDAR. Im my brain there is just no excuse to not know what is happening when or double booking something because you automatically say yes to things. And I know that I cant expect everyone to be me, and I cant expect my habits to be everyone elses habits. But out of respect for other people AND their time, I make sure that what gets planned happens, I do what I say I'm going to do, and I make sure I'm not wasting anyones time. Right now, si...

I was off for the whole week for Thanksgiving so sorry for the MIA... Man I forgot how much I love stuffing. And no, I certainly didnt deprive myself of all the wonderful food. I just ate less of it and found that hey! portion sizes are satisfying! Although I didnt watch portion sized on the crab legs, bu they're protien so it doesnt count :) I only got in like 2 workouts, we had family in town and zero time to do anything normal, so as of this morning I am back on routine. I am not going to weigh myself either until after AF, I can feel myself retaining water which means that it will happen soon enough. Some days I wonder what it would be like if I was the stay at home mom I was going to be originally. I think I'd probably still get up early, but I'll have time to snuggle with my babies and nap... I think that is the hardest part about going to work every day is not getting enough time to snuggle when I want to, and of course DD gets up right as I am getting off the co...

I think I just went a little crazy. I may or may not have agreed to start running at 5:15am. It would be an attempt to help a friend get back into gear.. and I usually am awake at 5am, and end up going back to sleep until after my alarm goes off. SO I figured I would capitalize on the fact that I am already up and it would be good to add some cardio... honestly I'm a little scared of not getting enough sleep. But this may help me get to sleep earlier as it is. (Since its working soooo well right now... har har har) I LOVE conditioning and exercising, and I love helping others do it too. It was so much fun abotu 3 years ago I ran a stretch and conditioning class and it was great watching the improvement of my students. But I can do it. I hate running. But I need to challenge myself to do new things. And it will be fun having someone to do it with.

Nothing like getting mind effed from a dream right before you wake up. It was so disturbing that it really has thrown me for a loop today. I had to pray extra hard for focus power today. I got up and just dove into the couch with tea, blanket & cat and just started in on scriptures. No yoga... my brain was too fried to do anything.. and also I was knocking things over right and left so no yoga this morning. And I jsut seemed to be moving so dang slowly today that I ran out of the house late, but for the grace of good traffic, I made it to work on time. I am reading  a book called Its No Secret...someting about divine truths that every woman must hear. Its good so far and has some good thinking points. I am on the chapter about female competition and how detrimental it is to both parties when you want to emulate another person, but then when you feel that you have gotten to her level we tend to try to exceed her and be better and make her know that she is inferior. Pack mental...

I am so blessed. Yesterday I got to pay off a bill that has been nagging me for 10 years early!! (VICTORY!) And this morning I woke up to the sweetest love note from hubs. AND I got huge hugs and "tisses" from my DD before work. God has blessed our little family beyond measure and personally I feel like He has taken the time out to personally show me how much I am loved. I woke up at 6:50am today... oops. (YAY for dry shampoo.) But nevertheless I was in good spirits and took my tea with me and sang at the top of my lungs all the way to work. I also snuck in some Chuck Mangione so that was good too. Got to deal with ridiculous traffic... which never happens. So my plan to get breakfast on the way to work didnt happen and now Im stuck between eating nothing, eating carrots or going out. I am officially 136.... id been back and forth between 136 and 137 the past couple days and finally leveled out at 136. Which is crazy to think I've lost 10 pounds... and really only h...

Well whoever said that anything you do is 50% mental is right. I had a mom-fail night last night which left me emotional... and while I agreed to do a 18 min stretch video with hubs, my mental state was not letting my physical shape even think about working out. Thankfully there was a new video posted on a youtube channel I watch, so I slogged my emotional self over to the elliptical and was able to slog through 2 miles at a decent resistance. So I did it. So there. Oh and a slight victory, I found half of the Raquel video online on a different site, so I will at least have that until I get teh DVD copy from my mom. I went to bed way too late last night, and Pete couldnt make up his damn mind whether he wanted to play or sleep so he kept walking all over my face and purring as loud as he could, so that kept me up later. So this morning, I did get up at 6, but forgot I found the Raquel video.. so I just made tea and took 10 min to stretch on my own. It took a lot to get the sleep out ...